Prioritizing for Impact: Identifying and Aligning Key Family Objectives

Welcome to Legacy Builders, strategies for building successful family enterprises. Brought to you by Beacon Family Office at Assante Financial Management Limited. I’m your host, Cory Gagnon, Senior Wealth Advisor. And on this show, we explore global ideas, concepts, and models that help family enterprises better navigate the complexities of family wealth.

Today we welcome Spencer Mellace, Advisor at Experience Financial Coaching and Consulting Inc. Spencer is a fee-only adviser who specializes in estate and succession planning for families and family businesses. With a personalized approach, Spencer helps families and businesses manage tangible and intangible aspects of their wealth. Spencer holds the Certified Financial Planner, Chartered Life Underwriter, and Trust and Estate Practitioner designation. His proactive strategies, developed through collaboration and analysis, align tax, legal, and financial aspects with his clients’ objectives.

My goal is to be the most curious person in today’s conversation with Spencer Mellace, where we explore his journey from his early days as a financial advisor to his current role as a trusted guide for families seeking alignment and prosperity. We’ll explore how Spencer’s client-centric approach has evolved over the years, focusing on understanding each family’s unique dynamics, values, and aspirations. Spencer will share insights on how to prioritize objectives, tailor strategies to meet specific needs and guide a family through the decision-making process with clarity and purpose.

Now let’s dive in!

Cory: Well, welcome, Spencer. We’re excited to have you here today to share your wealth of knowledge and experiences with us. Let’s dive in. Shall we?

Spencer: Sounds great.

Cory: Spencer, imagine you’re delivering a commencement speech to the graduating class of 2024 and you have the chance to inspire them with your story. How would you begin your speech to convey the incredible lessons and expertise that you’ve gained throughout your career?

Spencer: 2024 was a whole set of challenges in life that maybe been different from when I was graduating. I think you had asked if I would start with where I began and I think I would encourage anybody else to focus on where they began and where they came from.

I grew up in a small mountain town called Jasper, Alberta. it’s a beautiful town and all the significant experiences of my life that, changed my direction or drove my direction. A lot of them have been driven from sort of where I come from in my roots growing up in Jasper.  Whether experiences were directly related to going back there. I just think there’s so much in who we are with where we came from physically, that’s Jasper in a small town and a close community.

But also your family and it’s maybe almost cliche advice, but I think where you came from and where your roots are is a very important thing to understand about yourself and just to always acknowledge and go back to.

I think it helps ground you and center you. I know when I go back there, I just feel lighter, like I breathe easier. Grounding is very important because we’re in a world that can be a little bit disconnected and hyper-intensive and a lot of information. The other thing is so where you came from, but then also where you’re going and what your vision and what your purpose is. That’s something that might evolve but I think if you’re honest with yourself about what you want to do and why you want to do it.

If you’re going back to what you want to do and why you want to do it and the people that you surround yourself with, and that you spend time with, that you work with, that you partner with.

If you’re communicating regularly if you have an understanding of what you want to do and why you want to do it, what your purpose is, and where you’re going, I think that’s a deadly combination.

I realize those two things folks somewhere you’re going and remember where you came from. Almost seems cliché but sometimes the most traditional and the oldest advice seems to ring the truest.

Cory: Let’s start with the past where you came from. In the work that you’ve done with families where does that play into the advice you give and how you direct some of those conversations with families?

Spencer: I’m glad you asked that. When I first started, I didn’t sell financial products now I’m a fee-only advisor. When I started as an advisor back in 2001, I was licensed to sell life insurance and investments, and I had aspirations to become a financial planner and have that and all the other designations that I have now. But at the time, I was just licensed to sell life insurance and manage investments.

I took over servicing some clients who had bought life insurance in the town that I grew up in. Unfortunately, those clients had bought those policies and sort of felt abandoned because the person who sold the policies to them was not in the industry anymore.

When I went to service these policies, I was excited to look after people in my hometown, but they sort of had a bad taste in their mouths with policies that they didn’t necessarily understand. In some cases, it probably wasn’t the most suitable fit. They just felt like they had a sales relationship and not an advisory relationship so, it was important to me.

If you’re going to be an adviser you really have to focus on advising clients around what’s most important to them, rather than focusing on the particular strategy or solution that you sell that may be very lucrative for you, but it’s not really the thing that the person across the table or around the table with you is focused on.

There have been different evolutions over my career but that really set me on a path to being client-centric and I think a lot of really good advisors are client-centric. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people that would be really good advisors get a little bit too caught up in their widget or their strategy and they think that’s the show, and the missed opportunity there has certainly helped clients make their lives better by understanding that they’re the show.

I’ve over time taken various steps to become more and more client-centric and model my business so that I can sort of advise what clients are concerned about. Not necessarily what my key economic concern might be.

Cory: If we were to look at those things the clients and different family members have different aspirations and concerns. But when you’re sitting around that table and you’ve got people from presumably different generations, how are you taking that approach and focused on those different generational priorities?

Spencer: Awesome question! I think you’re the most curious person in the room today which I think is fantastic! I try and be the most curious person in the room when I’m meeting with clients in discovery.

There’s a large emphasis in my client engagement around discovery. That discovery is it starts with the intangible and interviews with the key family members and what’s most important to them. If the engagement starts with mom and dad, usually the discovery will start with them, what they want to do, and why they want to do it on a comprehensive, family business engagement, I’ll have individual interviews with the next generation.

I’ll have interviews and meetings with the entire group. Everybody has the space to share what they want to do and why they want to do that. Some of that might be driven by their life cycle where they’re at sort of within their own lives, within their family life cycle.

Just giving everybody the base to have those conversations and to share what’s most important to them, in a way that maybe they’re not if mom and dad are in the room, the kids might answer the questions, the adult kids in a different way than they might if mom and dad are not in the room.

So just trying to create the appropriate venue for everybody to honestly share what’s going on with them and what’s important to them.

Cory: Now, Spencer, let’s go back to the comment on the “go forward and the evolution of the evolving vision and purpose” that people have and you just commented on where that person is in their life cycle. How do you take what you’ve gained along your career and implement that into how you’re engaging in with those clients at different stages of their life cycle?

Spencer: Are you asking do I try and relate my experiences to them? I’m not quite sure.

Cory: Just even the new generation has different priorities and concerns versus the rising generation and how you can bring those to perspective, I guess, is what I’m getting at.

Spencer: I think, so in terms of how I’ve used my experience to I guess, I’m 45. I’ve been an advisor for 24, almost 25 years now. I’ve worked with clients who are sort of transitioning into retirement and well into retirement and thinking about transitioning their estate.

I’ve worked with people who are just sort of getting established at their own rate from a business perspective. I don’t know that I approach things differently. Maybe I’ve got more capacity than I had certainly 20 years ago. To appreciate and understand people’s stories at different stages of their journey. The process is the same with all of them.

It’s hearing their story, understanding their story, and understanding that their story is unique to them and appreciate seeing them and seeing their story and then recognizing that when we get to advice. The advice has to reflect what’s unique about the stage that they’re in, who they are, and what’s most important to them.

It can’t be advice that’s based on any other bias that I might bring because of my technical background and my technical expertise. It really has to be based on that individual.

Cory: I want to go back to you mentioning how going back to Jasper and we’re very lucky where we are to have the Rocky Mountains so close and the fact that these locations that people travel from far and wide to visit are right there out our back door.

And going back to Jasper and that grounding that you mentioned, some people have a different place that they go to. It might be underneath the old tree and the family farm or there are many of those places. For you, it’s going back and that fresh air and feeling lighter.

Spencer: Yep.

Cory: What is it that families and people have different generations? I know some of the work that you do as a coach with your kids and their teams, how do you bring that into your world of advising?

Spencer: Wait.  I think so my work as a coach or sort of the way that I connect back with?

Cory: I think connecting back to the grounding is really where I was going.

Spencer: I think there’s a lot of distraction in our world and that’s a fact. I think there’s a lot of competition for our attention and there’s a lot of things that pull us out of the precise moment. I think food and devices and apps are engineered to more and more engineered to attract our attention and to get our dopamine so I think that connecting to the present moment, and to me, that’s sort of what it’s about when I go back there.

I took the mountains physically surrounding the town that surrounds Jasper. I took them for granted as a kid and the fresh air and just the weather changes. I just took all that for granted. I think when I go back there now, I just let go of everything except for whatever it is I’m doing there, whoever I’m talking to, I go up there every year and go fishing and go golfing and just feel really present with the people that I’m hanging out with and to come to my surroundings and to nature.

When I go into a client meeting, if I can create a space where we’re pretty focused and we’re pretty present, and we’re engaged in the conversation. There’s not a lot of distraction going on around us. I don’t know if that’s a direct result of sort of how I reground and reconnect, but I see the benefits of that.

This is almost cliche again, meditation and grounding, reconnecting, and that type of stuff. That’s sort of a literal way that I’ve sort of done that. I think if that can happen when I’m engaging with people, we’re not engaging around distraction, but we’re engaging around in the present moment, I think that that’s something I try to do.

Cory: Now you commented on creating space for that meeting. One of the things you and I have learned together is about the process as well as the content.

Spencer: Yep.

Cory: And as a technical advisor in your background, you have some of that intuition as well. But can you talk a little bit about the importance of that process and really setting up the meeting for what you want to achieve?

Spencer: I love this. Like, just when you get people together engaged in a conversation, a lot of times, the conversation takes on a life of its own potentially, and the solutions that come out of it. You mentioned that we’ve learned some of it together, and we worked on our project with our project team together.

And some of the things that came out of some of the meetings that we had with the project family that we worked with. There’s nothing in you or me or our team members or that we knew about the family members we were interviewing that could have led to the solutions that they came up with because we allowed the dialogue.

We kept ourselves from talking too much and interrupting. We just let the conversation flow in a purposeful and present way and just sometimes magic happens. That’s the best way for me to describe it. 1+1 equals turtle is you don’t know what you don’t know what it what’s going to come from it, but if everybody’s present at the moment and engaged.

If there’s no preconceived by is if it’s a safe and secure space, that’s a very important one. From a coaching perspective, you mentioned that earlier, we really tried, have the privilege of head coaching my older boys’ team, and I’m an assistant coach of my younger boys’ hockey team, and we focus on not coaching them too much.

Supporting them, not telling them what type of hockey players or what type of team they would be, allowing them to be on the ice get to know each other, feel safe, feel secure in the dressing room, or feel comfortable.

And then the results, we can’t even predict the results, but they’re going to be awesome. Certainly, the kids are going to enjoy it. There’s something about being engaged in a task together too. There’s a book by, I think it’s Winn Gallagher, called Rapped. Which has to do with your focus and your attention.

If you and the concept is that you can sort of get into the moment and really be captured with euphoric feelings, if you’re learning an instrument or writing music or if you’re just writing or if you’re just fully so enraptured and engaged in something that something amazing comes from it and you feel wonderful, “euphoric feeling”.

It happens organically, but it has to be a deliberate focused effort. Now if you get 2 or more people together, pursuing that same objective. I’ll use that hockey team example. Again, awesome things can come with that.

If you create a safe space, everybody’s operating in the positive parts of their brain, nobody’s in their fight or flight. Awesome things can come from that. That’s where creating that space, making sure feel safe and comfortable.

They feel seen for who they are as individuals. But then they also feel a part of the team and recognize that I’m accepted for I am. That kid or that family member is accepted for who they are and now they can really be a part of the team or the family as well.

Cory: Going from that, the situation that you’ve been able to create in the dressing room on the ice, let’s take that back to the family business. We’ve got lots of experience, years where maybe that that comfort and safety in the family dressing room, which might be the dinner table or getting together at holidays and things maybe happen that creates some wounds and scars.

Spencer: Yep.

Cory: How do you take that and bring that to family business?

Spencer: Well, first of all, that’s awesome. That you made that association. I love that you called it the family dressing room. Whether it’s the family dinner table or the boardroom. I think there are dynamics at play within any group or any system that are preexisting, and some dynamics serve the system and the individual as well.

There are some dynamics that maybe aren’t working but they’ve just sort of always been the way. I think the important thing there is to appreciate that everybody has something to contribute and find the right way to appreciate everybody’s contribution, though, it might be different.

There might be somebody that is relatively silent but there a big influence or on the system or on the business. Recognition is important and finding the right way some people don’t need a ton of recognition. They might feel embarrassed by it but finding the right amount of recognition for that individual and finding the right way to recommend to recognize that individual is important for the individual and for the system overall.

I think just recognizing that diverse, unique opinions and personalities are important and maybe facilitating the opportunity for maybe that quiet voice is very important. Maybe it just needs to be empowered a little bit.

First of all, it needs to be or that person needs to maybe be seen and acknowledged, empowered a little bit and maybe inspired a little bit as well, to speak a little bit more. So I think that the thing is tangible, an example from early in my career went back to my training with Landon Life years and years ago, but it was about engaging in a husband and wife and a client-advisor relationship, making sure that both the husband and the wife are engaged in the conversation.

I’ve had hundreds of meetings, maybe thousands of meetings since then, with husbands and wives, where there might be one person who might be the wife or might be the husband who has always taken ownership of the financial decisions. Then there’s somebody that doesn’t really talk in the meetings, they’re shy.

Maybe they’ve never come to the meetings before, but when that person is engaged in the dialogue, it turns out that they actually have a lot to say.

They’ve got a lot to say about the vision for their family, and where they’re going, they may even have some really good technical things to add to the conversation, but they’ve just never felt comfortable talking before.

Very rarely, I don’t think ever actually has the person that’s traditionally taken charge of the financial role been offended by that. They just didn’t recognize that their partner maybe wanted to speak and maybe had some good things to input. It’s just sort of the way things have always been. But given that opportunity, I come in unbiased.

I don’t have any of those previous expectations with how they communicate about money. I can recognize that and maybe, and a skill a lot of advisors can do this, maybe recognize that that voice that’s not speaking, has something good to say.

Cory: That’s great. Empowering the quiet voice is awesome because there’s everyone has something to say, and it does need to be heard. Let’s go back to the word recognition because that can take different firms. In your experience, what does that look like and what can it look like if somebody were to get creative?

Spencer: What does recognition look

Cory: Like?

Spencer: So what within a family business or within

Cory: I think within human relationships, what would you say that that recognition looks like?

Spencer: I think recognition from a leadership perspective, anytime you have an opportunity to recognize that somebody does well, you take it. I think there’s a tendency within leadership, within parenting, I’m a parent, as a boss, have been a boss or had people that quote-unquote report to me I think that’s I think there’s a tendency to correct, right, all the time.

There are statistics on this, but there’s a tendency to correct and just provide so much feedback. I think we have gone too far and we miss the opportunity to provide recognition. I think anytime you spot somebody doing something right within your team, whether you’re a leader for that person or just a teammate, you take the opportunity to recognize, something that somebody did right.

You’re in the opportunity to give them positive feedback or constructive feedback when you see that as well, but I just think taking the opportunity. I don’t know how creative that is, but to me, that’s what I always try to do is just find every opportunity possible to catch somebody doing something right.

Especially if they’re learning something new for the first time or if their child is learning how to skate or play hockey or do anything for that matter. Try and find the opportunities to see the things they’re doing. Right?

Cory: Awesome. Now you use the word bias a couple of times. I want to go back to your comment about all the distractions in life and the things that are pulling our attention away from the present because I think that there’s something there from a parenting perspective but also within the systems that we talked about.  Can you talk about how you’ve maybe deployed strategies or things that have worked to help with all those poles that we have on us these days?

Spencer: I think so with our family, I know what we do with my kids. They don’t have devices. They’re 10 and 7. If they want to watch TV, they’ve got to play piano for the same amount of time as they’re going to watch TV during the week. Then they get to watch movies and stuff like that.

To me, the biggest most obvious source of distraction or devices and emails coming in, I’m not that good at avoiding them. I try hard but I still get sucked in. I walk past my phone and I want to check if I got an email or whatever. I don’t know if I do as good a job as I’d like to on that.

I think there’s always even without devices, I don’t know if there may be even training us to look for novelty all the time constantly novelty, dopamine, novelty, dopamine. I find it hard if my list is 15 things deep. But if my list is 2 or 3 things deep, I can usually get through them in a pretty thorough way.

All the other stuff that I would that needs to get done, it just gets done. I think that the biggest thing is, trying to have 1 or 2 or 3 things maximum that you prioritize, daily.

All the peripheral things rather than putting them on a list or being focused or worried about them, just accepting them for what they are is referral things that’ll get done when they need to get done and just focus on 1 or 2 or 3 priorities.

Even above that, I would say is regularly getting back to your vision or your purpose or why because that’ll help you eliminate a lot of pulls. Does this line up with where I’m going where we’re going or what’s important? Cause if it doesn’t, maybe you can cross that off the list. Delete that email rather than save it for later.

Cory: I like that. If you were to take that and explain the work that you do with families from a succession and continuity perspective, how does that prioritizing translate into some of that work, or how do you see families best handle some of those objectives?

Spencer: Great question, and thank you. I had a conversation this morning with the new perspective planning family. His concern is that there are tax things that he could do. There are leverage things that he could do. There are insurance things that he could do. And there’s a lot of analysis that when he gets into a very cerebral state and he starts thinking of all these scenarios but he needs some guidance to tailor the analysis to just the things that are relevant for them.

So how I relate that is if we go through a planning engagement, we go through a detailed discovery, and we go through the discovery, which is what you want to do and why you want to do it.

And then we do the hard facts and the legal and financial and tax situation that the family and the business are in if we have 15 different things that come out of that, they’re probably going to do none of them.

But if we identify 2 or 3 key priorities and themes that come up and those are the most important things that they need to tackle, then we can focus our analysis on those 2 or 3 things. The decision by the time that we’ve identified that those are the key things and Wendy said this, but a problem well-defined is already half solved.

However, those 2 or 3 things are far more likely to get done. If we’ve just narrowed it down to those 2 or 3 things and then the other stuff is super official or extra stuff that’ll get done when it needs to get done. Maybe it’ll make it on the top 2 or 3 priority list. But rather than doing infinite analysis on infinite different strategies, we can focus on analyzing 2 or 3 strategies making sure we solve those and implement strategies to solve those issues.

Going from a broad universe or big wide ocean of all the different things that a family or family business could do to make their situation better to 2 or 3 things that are the most important things and then coming up with the right solution for those 2 or 3 things. That is sort of how I relate that to engaging with families and family businesses.

Cory: Great. Awesome. Now, Spencer, as we near the end of our conversation, there are a few questions that I ask each guest before we wrap up. Are you ready for the tough ones?

Spencer: Sure. This is rapid-fire. Can I give long answers like I haven’t?

Cory: You can do either emphasize where you think you need to but we’re on the hot seat, and it’s the ones that we make sure that we cover with everyone. If you were to say one key strategy that you believe is most essential for building a successful family enterprise. What would that be?

Spencer: This came up before but it’s sort of a strategy. It’s determined the vision, the why, and go back to it as often as you can, make it part of your vernacular within your company, within your culture because It’ll breed how people make decisions.

It’ll empower people to make good decisions. It’ll attract the right types of clients and the right types of team members. If that vision is well articulated, vision values goals, if it’s shared regularly if it’s just automatic like everybody knows it, and if it’s true, that it’s going to be easy to share it and have it come up all the time anyways.

I think really, getting that vision, articulating the vision, the values, and the goals, and sharing it regularly.  I think that’s the most important thing, and I think it just drives else and strategy and empowerment and culture and attracting clients, all that stuff happens automatically if that vision is nailed and shared readily.

Cory: Awesome. And what is the most common challenge that you see family enterprises encountering when it comes to wealth transition and generational continuity?

Spencer: I’ve seen this so much people want to do something but they don’t know where to start. They know somebody who sells life insurance. That was me for only 3 years. I mean, a financial planner and a trust and a state practitioner but largely came from insurance or they’ve got somebody that’s got an investment bias or they’ve got somebody that has an attack strategy or a structure that they should use.

The issue is that they don’t know what to do and they know they don’t know where to get started. They’ve got ideas that are very adviser-centric but they’re not centric to them. If we get to the place of having great communication within the family, I would say that when that happens, it becomes easier to make decisions about the strategy.

I think they are just a family starting in the wrong, they’re starting with advisors that are maybe strategy-centric. There are maybe fewer advisors or fewer opportunities for families to engage with advisors that are family-centric and really helping them communicate well and articulate what they want to do and why they want to do it.

Cory: Right. Awesome. And in your experience what are the top 3 key qualities that successful family enterprise leaders possess?

Spencer: I think leaders in general, family enterprise leaders, there’s probably so I’ll just say leaders in general to start, I would say creating a safe and secure place for everybody, seeing and acknowledging everybody. Creating that, creating safety and security, and helping everybody feel included and important.

I would say that’s the most important thing, being supportive. I think getting out of the way as leaders. I think sometimes we want to intervene too much. Whereas I think, if you can allow people’s process and allow the team’s process and I think it’s about empowering people and inspiring people.

Cory: Awesome. you wrapped them together nicely. Before we conclude our discussion today, I’d like to highlight where listeners can engage more in the conversations that you’re having. Can you kindly provide us with where our guests can find you?

Spencer: I’m not a big social media guy, but I have LinkedIn. It’s just my name, Spencer Mellache. I have a website, our website is www.experiencefcc.com. Experience FCC is a financial coaching and consulting firm.

Cory: Awesome. I wanted to make sure that we covered everything today. I asked as many questions as I had in mind, but I wanted to make sure that you had the chance to share anything that was on your mind with our audience. Is there anything that we didn’t get the chance to touch on that you wanted to leave everyone with?

Spencer: Well, as I could talk for a long period. I think the one thing I’d say is there are a lot of really good advisors out there Cory, I know you’re one of them.

Some advisors want to be good but they’re in an institution that doesn’t allow them to be client-centric. Conversely, I think there are a lot of clients who feel like they have to be associated with those advisors who are tied to those institutions that drive a lot of behavior that institution institution-centric and not client-centric.

I think it’s really important for clients to look outside the big banks and talk to different advisors within different channels. Talk to you Cory because I know you’re a fantastic adviser. But the traditional methods may not be the only bank adviser, the branch. There are other places where people can find advice that’s going to be focused on them. I would just encourage everybody who’s looking for financial advice, or wealth advice, to seek out client-centric advisors and have your best interest at heart.

That might not be the person that your mom and dad worked with or just the person at the local bank branch.

Cory: Awesome. Well, thank you Spencer for taking the time to share your expertise and experiences with us. Your insights have been incredibly valuable and we’re grateful for your time and your contribution to this episode.

Spencer: I appreciate you having me, Cory. Thank you very much.

Cory: Alright. Thanks.

As we wrap up this episode, we invite you to reflect on the insights Spencer has shared with us, emphasizing the importance of finding an advisor with a client-centric approach, developing open communication, and recognizing the unique contributions of each family member in the pursuit of alignment and prosperity.

Whether you are part of a family business or provide consulting to them, may these insights empower you to create safe spaces for dialogue, prioritize key objectives, and tailor strategies to meet the specific needs of your families.

Throughout our discussion, Spencer highlighted several actionable takeaways. Engage in comprehensive discovery processes to understand each family member’s aspirations, facilitate open conversations that allow quiet voices to be heard, and focus on the 2 or 3 most important priorities to guide your decision-making.

For those seeking additional guidance on the themes covered today, visit the show notes for links to connect with Spencer on LinkedIn and his website, where you’ll find information on how Spencer might be able to support your family with strategies to meet your succession and estate planning objectives.

Disclaimer: 

This program was prepared by Cory Gagnon who is a Senior Wealth Advisor with Beacon Family Office at Assante Financial Management Ltd. This is not an official program of Assante Financial Management and the statements and opinions expressed during this podcast are not necessarily those of Assante Financial Management. This show is intended for general information only and may not apply to all listeners or investors; please obtain professional financial advice or contact us at [email protected] or visit BeaconFamilyOffice.com to discuss your particular circumstances before acting on the information presented.